Monday, November 08, 2004

Confessions of a Blogger

You Are a Snarky Blogger!

You've got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of.
And that's why they read your posts as often as they can!

Seems everyone is on the bandwagon on finding out which blogger they are so I figure I'd try my hands at it, though most of the time I'd avoid foward mails and internet quizzes like the plague. Lo and behold what I got! Anyhow this has tested my faith in internet surveys. Most of the other sites mostly shows they are pundit blogger and I can believe I'd end up with Snarky Blogger! Truth be told, it really is the opposite of myself. Razor sharp wits, I figure there are better people out there with better commentaries and humor or better writeups on whats hip and happening or even in tune with the latest happenings and analysis of the world at large. Me, I'm usually left behind without a clue though I try. As for bloggers being scared of me, well I figure I'm as with my persona in the real world, usually passed by without a thought or not worth consideration by people. "People read your posts as often as they can", wow don't I wish, I'm already jumping for joy if there's even a single comment for any of the posts I've written or e few blinks in my site traffic meter. Other days I'm just plain down if my articles are passed over without a single word.

I first began this blog as a mere curiosity, an outlet for the journalist and writer I yearn to be before life headed me down a different path. The first attempt at blogging was mostly for fun, a pursuit that aims to satisfy my own self and nothing more as well as a source to keep the people that term me as friend updated on my life. Yet as the more I read about other people’s blogs, the stories they told, the remarks, critiques and opinions they formed, I fell in love with such a vibrant community. Posting week after week, I got hooked on writing, a feeling I have not experienced since I last wrote an essay for form six MUET. After that an exercise of writing was purely academicals with nothing to stir the creative juices in the brain. Having people comment and reading on the other views brought a thrill. I confess I never ever had the yearning to be known, being content to remain a shadow as others strive to win sports awards, scholastic prizes, extracurricular activities etc. I let that all pass by me. By typing that first post, it was truly a small step towards a whole new world. At some point it occurred to me that I was yearning for recognition and maybe even praise from others. Writing and hoping that someone out that thinks my writings are a worthwhile read and maybe if possible very promising material indeed. Watching for the visitor counter to increase, waiting for the comments to pop out and just keep on writing, it was all a thrill. Soon I was hooked!

Yet at times I feel I am hoping too much, that a feeling of defeat that people think I am too immature or my views invalid as a whole. There are a few instances if I ever wonder what it would take for people to post comments, a dismal trickle at times, even my friends whom I’ve known so long, besides a few have not even deem to write a short statement of encouragement. Then it occurred to me I was trying to please people out there and somewhere along I lost the sheer joy of just writing for myself. Realizing this, I went back and reassess the aim of my blogging, a purpose to just write even if it is not appreciated by others, continue to do so because it’s something I like to do and still holds a place in my heart. Blogging should be fun and brings a smile to your face, not a chore as if you’re a news editor trying to sell papers. I may not be as savvy as some, nor can I hope to reach the level of eloquence, sarcasm, flair and composure of some of the esteemed bloggers out there. So as for being snarky (I'm going to look at the dictionary for that word), guess I'm not. This honour should go to more renowned writers out there like Jeff Ooi, hyelbaine, Pok Ku, Kimberlycun and Buaya69, as well as many others that would be too long a list to add into this entry (refer to link page to see some of them).

But I hope with time I’ll improve and prove that I’ve what it takes to write, no longer seeking approval from others but instead garnering their admiration for my work on the merits of my writing and contents. I will not write to the general public’s taste but will write for my own sake and see if it will intrigue the public to drop and have a look. So I hope people will keep on coming as I add onto my blog, take time to read, judge for yourselves and if you think it worthy give a comment or two.

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