If you'd told me that the simple act of smiling, of being happy and joyous and of having an uplifting feeling that tomorrow holds endless promises was something that comes naturally I would've agreed months ago. I've always been a pessimist but I've never let myself feel hurt or down or to fall into despair. When times were tough I've always been able to cope and to bounce back, all it needed was a good night sleep and the next day all way right in the world again. Yet at this moment, no matter what I do, things all feel as if all the effort I put in are futile, that whatever I do seems so pointless. It feels like the hardest thing to feel happy again and not to fall into self loathing and pitifulness. And it has never felt so lonely before ever. I know I really have to shake this feeling off, but at this point in time, I just can't. So for those out there that have someone to be with, or are able to enjoy their happiness, cherish it and grasp it so tightly that it can never escape you.