Thursday, October 21, 2004

Datukship woes: a brief interview

A survey from passersby in the street on the errant Datuks problem:

School Teacher:
Adopt what measures we have in place in the school system for the Datuks, when each receive their title the Sultan should hand them a report card. If they do something wrong they get demerit point, also put in yearly progress report: what activities they join, how good they do blah blah blah. If bad enough call them to the principle’s office, cough cough sorry the Sultan and tell them off.

Coffeeshop patron:
Wah lau, these people lor, think they can buy the world if they all loaded wan. Ayaa where can get Latuk so easy, like that I oso can wan. You know back in the old days, people don’t act like that wan. Latuk actually do something, why I can remember back in…..

Common teenager:
Practice democracy lah, we youngsters all for it, we have our own Datukship Idol. Each month we showcase the Datuks on stage and they have to show their talent to the audience on tv. Than we all SMS and see who we want to keep. Fair what.

Average Joe:
Blink blink (eyes), what Datuk issue? I haven’t heard anything, ayoh never touch newspapers so don’t know. Anyway who won yesterdays Man U vs Liverpool match, you saw it?

Secret Service agent:
We monitor them 24/7, we already have the means, so that puts them on guard. If they insist on bad behaviour well we could always silently take them down and clear any evidence of it.

Ah Long:
Latuk? Which one la? Some my best friend one, here let me check my little black book maybe can find address for you lor. Gotta go ask him to yam char one of these days and talk business.

News man:
Good good scandal always sell papers, maybe if anything blows we can get a front page exclusive.

Custom officer:
Datuk, anything to declare or not? Need to conduct strip search to see if hiding anything beneath?

We could trail them and hound their privacy, dig all the juicy dirt and post them on the front page, don’t care if it’s in good taste or not. We’re informing the public and a social duty so no more harassing us about the Diana affair okay.

Religious person:
What they get away here on earth they can hide, but judgment shall await them when they meet thy maker. Thou shall repent they sins before.

Santa Claus:
Mmm let me check my naughty or nice list to see who has been a bad boy this year.

Government official:
This problems affects us Malaysians deeply, I will lend my voice in the floor to see that this does not happen again. We’ll set up a committee, get the media to actively participate, gain popular support and than after all the energy is spent we get back to business as thing die down a few months later and another issue arises. Vote for me ok.

Ayoooyoo what can do this is an act of God. Anyway nothing to do with me, very busy with the current roadwork mess. Oopps sorry no comment, the PM cleared me already.

Who me?

1 comment:

Rajiv Finn said...

the malaysian perspective eh? hehe