The End

Dawn

Let us witness the coming of a new dawn,

Let light castaway shadow's looming form,

Let flowers bloom from ashen ground,

Let strength and hope anew be found.

2005 is looming just round the corner and it figures I’d be reflecting back at the old year. 2004 has been quite a trip but was it significant? Much has happened for me and yet I still feel unsatisfied and with the feeling that I’ve not climbed another rung up the ladder in life. Some I’ve mentioned during my birthday but I feel a need to look again and review. It still fells like it was yesterday when I was correcting my mistakes in writing a 3 instead of a 4 for all my dates and yet now I’ve to contend to correcting my 5s with my 4s.

The most significant achievement this year would be the completion of my studies at UMS. Earning a degree is a big achievement for me and the highlight would be the moment I donned the graduation robes, lined up by my peers and slowly made the momentous walk up the stage to receive “a blank folder” (seems they hold your certificates until after the ceremonies and only after you pay up the unceremoniously hand them over) from the Chancellor. The mark of an accumulation of three years of work, the various hard bargaining with the lecturers to prove you earned the marks and the long laborious hours of field work, labs and lecture come to fruition. Another milestone decision would be to remain here in Sabah, furthering my studies in the field of Marine Biotechnology to the Masters level. A wise choice or not, only time will tell but a decision made easier for me as I chose it to be nearer to Laura.

Travelling to the Philippines was another highlight, spending three months at Bolinao under the University of the Philippines and conducting research for my industrial training stint. I could’ve made a better choice in accepting more lucrative offers at companies that pay salaries back home but the wanderlust to travel even if there’s no cash in the effort is to me too strong to ignore. I’ve longed to travel and see new places besides Singapore and since opportunity to go further has not come knocking at my doors, Philippines was a logical choice. It refreshes to meet people so like you yet so different, see places that offer so foreign and exotic a feel yet make you think of home and to see a new destination where you only read about in person can not be described. I’ve made some good friends there, enjoyed the place and brought back enough memories and souvenirs to sate my travelling spirit for now.

Also this August marked the 1st anniversary for Laura and I and I’m still as happy and in love as from the first time I asked her to be my girlfriend. It has been a great time, we have travelled together to several places, celebrated festivities, enjoyed each others company and she even started cooking and me learning :D Spending time together is a blessing and though we sometimes disagree, resolving those has brought us closer. Being able to be there for both our birthdays also brought joy to our faces.

Lady, our dog had the great honour to become a mother of 3 pups, all healthy and boisterous. A good turn too that all have found good homes of which I’m sure the owners would take care of them to the fullest and ease my mind of strangers abusing the dogs. Now seeing two scampering dogs chewing the shoes, destroying the yard, nipping your toes and mutilating the clothes is a joy indeed.

Working a stint between waiting for my masters to fall through also gave a semblance of income and to meet with my past colleagues as well. There were rough times and there were good times. There was the nagging feeling of either earning my keep to fund my masters and leaving Laura for 3 months in Kk but in the end prudence won out. It was a bit sad to have seen so many familiar faces no longer there and yet many new ones that are just as friendly. Congratulations to Goh on the birth of her newborn boy as well as Ms Tan on the start of her new stint.

And there’s blogging, though I started late and in the beginning it was just for a spat of fun to write, I have found it a joy to be able to write and give a voice to my thoughts, my dreams and my frustrations. From its infantile stages, I saw it grew and soon it had a life of its own. I’ve always lamented the decline and lack of incentive to write after my secondary school years and blogging proved to be the perfect medium for a person who always wanted to be a journalist yet could not. Hardly a day goes by now that I don’t blog, in sort of becoma a therapeutic exercise for my creative outlet. I’ve enjoyed the support of many bloggers whose blogs inspire, tickle, ignite and pushed me further in life everyday. There are several that I’ve got to know better and may I hope to call good friends. Recently too I’ve been given a great Christmas surprise to have been chosen for a spot as a noteworthy photo for PhotoFriday and that just made my day as a photographer to have the recognition of my peers whom I’ve strive to better myself upon. I wish to thank everyone who visited my blog, giving me the support to continue on, leaving their thoughts and ideas and views. You’re the ones that made this all happen, Thank You from the bottom of my heart.

This year also marked a new beginning for many of my family, some have gone abroad to study, others have begun careers, a few have decided to tie the knot and start a family, a cousin of mine was blessed with a new baby early this year and most are having plans to shift houses. My friends to are getting about in life, some have built viable and successful careers in the span of a year, some are travelling abroad to study or work and yet it saddens me that the many that have left Sabah are slowly fading to the back as we seldom communicate anymore. Last month a friend and fellow Toastmaster succumbed to Dengue fever and passed away. Many of us were close to Ken and it came as a shock with him in the midst of his Masters and barely over 25 to have this turn in life. Somehow seeing someone you know so close pass away makes you question your own mortality, that even in the prime of life, life can be wretched away so easily.

As for the bad, I don’t think there was much to be not thankful for the past year. I’ve my health, the company of good friends, my family and Laura. The only regret might be the fear that what live would bring for me in the future, whether decisions I have made in the year would affect me in life later or that I’ve made the right choices in certain aspects for my life. Yet what are we but humans if not in doubt but a better philosophy is to accept and acknowledge those decision made and never look back with regret, where life gives you lemons make lemonade. I count myself fortunate and if I that life has not given me my fair share, I’ve only to remind myself that there are others out there that does not share my fortunes or look at people with everything they could have and yet are not satisfied or want more.

Thus I’m making no resolutions this New Year, I’m going to live life the fullest each and every day and give thanks for the love ones I have with me and the good friends. I’m going to try and appreciate the good moments in life and be happy for it and not dwell too much in the bad lest they drag me down to the pits of despair. All in all I have had a good year and I am thankful. Hopefully 2005 will see me through an interesting time.

To everyone out there, Happy New Year.